


Heartsick

by BlueDayGecko



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Parent-Child Relationship, Sickfic, Vomiting, it's probably gonna be okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2018-10-18 17:12:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10621422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueDayGecko/pseuds/BlueDayGecko
Summary: When Sanji starts his day feeling a little under the weather he blames it on a recent spat with a certain someone. It's not like hes actually sick or anything...right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It seems everyone around me is absolutely dying with a fucking flu bug and I'm just camping out with my laptop waiting for my shit to hit the fan hard. On the plus side I've been inspired by the misfortune of my family and friends so here you go! If you like it let me know, I'm not looking for a poetic essay singing my praises but if you really like it you need to tell me! I don't want to abandon this thing after the threat of germs passes if there are people out there who want to see it finished. I will get distracted! But i don't want to be a dick and forget about this story if some of you are genuinely interested in it being continued. I won't beg for feedback, but if I don't have it I can't promise I won't go on a mission to catch every Pokemon there is in shiny form. Easily distracted. Help me help you.
> 
> I don't own one piece. If I did I'd have more than this mere blanket fort to protect me from the epidemic.

Sanji blinked weakly against the harsh bathroom lights above him. His back was aching from laying on the hard floor for so long and he really needed a toothbrush. He squirmed uncomfortably, trying to ignore the coarse bits of hair that dusted the base of the toilet. God damn he hoped Zeff had been trimming his moustache this morning. Throwing an arm over his eyes he tried to focus on the soft buzz of the fan as the nausea that had been plaguing him receded once again. He needed to get up. Resting one hand on the cool porcelain bowl he carefully pulled himself to his knees. He leaned hard against the toilet as a dizzy spell tried to lure him back to the cold tile. His shaky breaths slowly evened out until he could faintly hear the muted busting of the kitchen one floor below. When he left for work this morning he’d had no plans of winding up sick in his adoptive father’s apartment.

 

He had woken up feeling achy and slightly ill but had chalked it up to staying out later than he should have with Luffy and Franky the evening before. He’d dragged his sorry ass to the shower expecting to feel better once he was up and around but found he needed to sit down before tackling the task of getting dressed for the day. He opted for simple black trousers and a navy button up that usually made his eyes pop. He knew from experience this outfit always looked sharp so he had been surprised to find while buttoning his cuffs in the mirror that he looked absolutely like shit. His skin was ashen and the dark circles under his eyes were startling.

 

Obviously the last week had taken a greater toll on him than he realized. 

 

He quickly discarded the shirt on the bed not even bothering to unbutton it all the way and swapped it out for a light blue one. He headed towards his kitchen already running through different things he often made for breakfast but slowed his pace when he felt a familiar sick feeling in his gut as he halved each recipe in his head. He opted for toast and peanut butter and decided to eat it on the way. He couldn’t stand to be alone in that apartment for another second. He’d grabbed his keys and wallet and, while holding his breakfast between his teeth, locked the door and headed down the three flights of stairs towards the parking lot. He found himself standing at the top of the last set of steps and seriously considering turning around and going back to bed. He was feeling worse than he did when he had woken up but blamed it on his shitty emotions. He forced down the last of his breakfast as he descended the last flight of stairs and immediately pushed his way out the front doors.

 

The early morning air was chilly but it was a welcome change from the stuffy stairwell. He walked briskly to his car and unlocked it before settling inside. He dicked around briefly with the radio before throwing the car in reverse and heading out on his usual route to the Baratie. He found himself struggling with nausea on the way to work and had rolled down all his windows in an attempt to combat it. While stopped at a red light he found himself considering just opening his door and forcing himself to throw up to get it over with but the thought of anyone seeing him do such a thing made him shudder. He pulled into his parking space and shut off the vehicle, giving himself a second to adjust to being stationary. He opened the door but stayed in his seat, lighting up a cigarette to combat the queasiness from the drive over. “Get you’re shit together Sanji, you’ve got a whole day in the kitchen ahead of you. You can’t be all fucked up because some asshole did what he does best…” He murmured to himself. Stubbing his cigarette out on the pavement. He hauled himself to his feet and locked up his car before making his way to the back door of the restaurant. A broken heart and a little motion sickness weren’t going to stop him from performing his duties. The cool air did wonders for his upset stomach and by the time he made his way into the kitchen he was certain he had in fact gotten his shit together. 

 

The door hadn’t even closed behind him before the sound of Zeff shouting had him feeling right at home. He grabbed a cup of coffee before moving into the dining room where the morning meeting was taking place. He took a seat at one of the tables the staff had congregated around waiting for things to get started. The usually comforting smell of baking bread was making his stomach flip flop and for once he couldn’t wait for this fucking thing to get started so he’d have something to distract himself with. He was disappointed to find that Zeff droning on about what the week would hold was as captivating as usual. He set his half-finished coffee down and tried to focus on what was being said but found it was getting more and more difficult to follow the conversation. He was starting to feel sweaty and he knew he was salivating and he definitely knew where this was headed but it would be a cold day in hell before he let a little emotional turmoil cause him to waste a perfectly good breakfast. He managed to hold out another five minutes before the feel of bile rising in his throat pushed him to his feet. He walked out of the room calmly, without even offering an excuse, as Zeff cursed and bellowed at him for skipping out on another fucking meeting. Once the double doors to the kitchen swung shut behind him he had bolted to the back hallway where Zeff’s office and the stairs to the apartment were. He tripped his way up the stairs and hurried through the small kitchen where the lingering smell of breakfast had him retching loudly. His fingers had barely brushed the door frame to the bathroom before the taste of vomit was on his tongue. He hadn’t even had the time to drop to his knees before he lost control and it was just happening. He'd mustered all the grace he could given the situation and managed to keep his breakfast off the floor, his clothes, and out of his hair. The taste of coffee mixed with the acidic burn of his stomach acids and the texture from the toast he had eaten that morning kept him gagging and unable to catch his breath, and he resigned himself to emptying his stomach one painful mouthful at a time. 

 

Recounting the events that led him to this shitty position did nothing to make him feel better.

 

He held his face in his hands trying to block out the smell of vomit that hung in the air. He spared a glance down into the bowl and was instantly regretful. He never did well with puke. The thought of a wasted meal always pissed him off and having a sensitive palate made the experience torturous. He groped around blindly for the handle effectively flushing away everything he’d consumed that morning and at the bar last night. He stood on shaky legs and after rinsing out his mouth straight from the tap, pilfered some of his old man’s mouthwash. He flicked off the bathroom light and shuffled into the small kitchen where his eyes caught the time on the stove. He’d been up here for almost half an hour. The meeting had definitely ended and Zeff would soon come find him to kick his ass. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with cool water before sitting down heavily at the kitchen table to try to sort out whatever the fuck was wrong with him. It could be food poisoning. Luffy had invited the whole gang out to a seedy bar he favored downtown. Sanji had accompanied him a handful of times but always stuck to bottled beer and stayed away from the food. He had wanted to go to bed and tell Luffy to shove his adventure up his ass but the idiot had insisted he had something to celebrate and everyone would be there.

 

And there was a certain someone he wanted to hash a few things out with.

 

As it turned out everyone was not there which wasn’t surprising considering it was a fucking Sunday night. Robin and Nami had stayed home because they both worked early in the morning and his glowing angels weren’t the only ones absent. Chopper and Law were both absent as well, Chopper having an exam to study for and Law having normal ‘I’m an adult and act like one’ priorities. When asked about Usopp’s whereabouts Luffy claimed his roommate had refused to wake up for his celebration. He never asked about Zoro’s whereabouts and Luffy never commented on his absence. So he found himself out far later than he intended celebrating ‘just being able to eat yummy food’ with Luffy, Franky and Brook. The young dark haired boy ordered a ridiculous number of appetizers and, since he was never one to tolerate waste, Sanji had snacked throughout the evening. It was possible he had eaten something bad. He’d only had three drinks so he wasn’t hungover. The others teased him about his alcohol tolerance but it wasn’t so bad that three drinks would make him sick. As far as he knew no one in their group had been ill recently and no one had called out sick in the last month at the restaurant so he was fairly confident he didn’t have anything contagious. 

 

As irritating as it was to admit, he knew his upset stomach was probably linked to his recent breakup. If he could even call it that since there had been no official breakup so far, just radio silence. He knew he often let his emotions get the best of him. He was quick to anger and wasn’t shy about shedding tears no matter if they were happy or sad. His always wore his emotions openly and seemed to feel them with every inch of his being. It should be no surprise that being heartsick left him bent over a toilet. Whatever it was he wasn’t feeling up to being in the kitchen. He could probably get away with doing paperwork in the office. Zeff usually handled the business but Sanji knew he enjoyed being in the kitchen just as much as he did. He could tell him he had a headache or something, It wasn’t a lie, he was starting to feel pressure building behind his eyes. He slouched over the table holding his head in one hand while he sipped his water carefully. He didn’t even hear someone shuffling up the stairs and so he startled when the door slammed open. He didn’t have to look to know that he was getting a death glare from a large man in chef’s whites. He steeled himself for a tongue lashing as the boss made his way over to him with his uneven gait. 

 

“What the fuck was that? I know you’re a rude little shit but leaving in the middle of a fucking meeting is unacceptable Sanji! What kind of message does that send to the staff if my own son doesn’t give two shits about the business we’re running?”  
Sanji tipped his glass back finishing the last of his water, frowning at how unsettled his stomach was feeling again. He relaxed back into his chair and tilted his head to look up at the man who had raised him. Any other day he would have taken pride in working the man into a perfectly red faced rage but he was feeling like shit and leaving without a word partway into a meeting had been a dick move. No, the best thing to do now would be to apologize and try to gain a little sympathy from the man.

 

“You’re right, I’m sorry I flaked” Sanji spoke quietly pausing to let the apology sink in. “I’ve had a headache all morning and I just needed to sit down for a while before work.” He watched Zeff’s rage melt into frustrated concern.

 

“Well are you feeling better now or do I need to call that shitty boyfriend of yours to drag your ass to bed?”

 

Sanji winced both at the double meaning of what his father had just unknowingly said as well as the mention of Zoro. “No, don’t call that asshole…I’ll be fine, but maybe we could switch for the morning? You can handle prep and I’ll work up in the office?”

 

Zeff looked at him with an unreadable expression before picking up his empty glass and moving towards the sink. After rummaging around on top of the fridge he returned setting a full glass of water and a bottle of aspirin in front of the blonde before sitting down at the end of the small table. Sanji shook two out into his palm and tossed them back with a sip of water. “Drink all of that” Zeff groused. Sanji frowned at the mostly full glass, not trusting his stomach to handle anything else but knew babying it would give him away. He took another few mouthfuls feeling the old man’s eyes on him the whole time. 

 

“Did you two have a fight little eggplant?” 

 

He almost choked in surprise at the question. Thankfully he didn’t, his cover definitely would have been blown if he’d thrown up all over the kitchen table. He cleared his throat and set the glass down. As far as he knew only Luffy and Usopp knew about the fight and that was only because when Zoro had stormed out of their shared apartment a week earlier with a bag and his swords, he had gone straight to their place to crash. He had been back once while Sanji had been at work, like a coward, to grab a few more of his things and leave his key behind. The message was loud and clear. As he stood in the kitchen of their home looking down at the key left purposefully on the counter he knew this wasn’t just another argument. It was over. A hand on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts. 

 

“The paperwork can wait for a couple hours. Why don’t you lay down and wait for that headache to pass?” He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the lump in his throat, but his emotional distress and Zeff’s gentle tone were proving difficult to overcome. He cleared his throat and pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes to cover up his distress. “Yeah, I’ll set an alarm for nine-thirty and come down.”

 

With one more pat to his back Zeff turned and headed back downstairs. Sanji rested his head against the smooth wood of the table trying to find the willpower to get himself to the couch for a nap. His stomach flopped uncomfortably and he felt a little regret at telling Zeff he only had a headache, maybe if he had told him how sick he was feeling he could have scrounged up some anti-nausea pills or brought him up some ginger from the kitchen. He leaned back loosening his tie before removing it all together along with his jacket. He pulled a few buttons on his shirt open and carefully got to his feet heading towards the den. He shuffled into the room while setting an alarm on his phone before tossing it onto the coffee table. He kicked off the shoes he hadn’t realized he was still wearing and lowered himself to the couch with a groan before stretching out across the cushions. He closed his eyes and, despite the nausea and growing discomfort in his abdomen, managed to drift off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you! I couldn't leave you guys hanging after all the lovely comments I received :) I don't have this written in advance so if there's something you'd really like to see in this fic let me know and I'll try to make it happen! As I've already mentioned I am easily distracted but don't want to leave you all hanging! Everytime you interact with me I get an email and a kick in the ass to come back to this so if you think I may have fallen off the planet or gotten caught up in building a bad ass minecraft house don't hesitate to drop me a message!

The soft sound of the television was the first thing that filtered into his consciousness. He wasn’t sure why he was asleep on his father’s couch but he knew without opening his eyes that he was in the man’s den. Zeff without fail always left the news on for background noise, most likely to be sure he always had a current topic he could bitch about. He rolled towards the back of the couch and burrowed deeper into the plush cushions with a moan. His headache was threatening to return and he fought to stay asleep just a little longer. He managed to drift for a while but bolted upright like he’d been doused with ice water as his insides suddenly clenched and gurgled. 

 

“Oh shit…” he muttered before rolling off the couch gracelessly and scrambling to his feet. He bolted down the hall for the bathroom unsure of which end this was going to come out of but very sure it was going to happen right now. He’d barely had time to kick the door shut before everything went to hell. Twenty minutes later found him sitting on the toilet, slacks around his ankles with used tissues and dirty q-tips strewn across the floor from when he’d hastily emptied the bathroom garbage can that he now held between his knees. 

 

He was dying.

 

He couldn’t ever remember being so violently ill. He set the can down beside him, wary of spilling its contents, and took a few deep breaths trying to decide if it was over or not. He was clammy and a little dizzy but overall felt a thousand times better than he had all morning. Probably five pounds lighter too. He reached behind his head groping blindly until his palm was flat against the cool glass of the window and pushed it open with a little struggling. He rummaged around in his pants for a cigarette and lit up, consequences be damned. He fucking deserved this and honestly it was the least terrible thing he had done in Zeff’s shitter all day. After he had burned it right down to the filter he dropped it into the toilet between his legs with a satisfying hiss and got started on the task of getting himself and the bathroom presentable again. 

 

He grabbed another glass of water from the kitchen and was on his way to the office when he remembered his discarded phone. He retraced his steps back to the den and picked it up off the table noticing that his alarm had gone off a while ago and he was now half an hour behind. He slipped on his shoes and headed down to the office frowning when the aromas from the kitchen made him feel a little queasy. “Shit, I thought that was over” he muttered frowning to himself. He closed the door to the office to keep the smells out and sat down at the desk to begin the tedious paperwork that came with running a business. He was immersed in payroll hours later when Zeff poked his head around the door carrying a tray.

 

“Finally getting to work you lazy ass?” Zeff grunted. Sanji rolled his eyes but shuffled some papers around to make room for what his father had brought him. “What’s this old man, are you waiting on me now? ‘I could go for some wine maybe” he taunted the older man while reclining in the office chair. “Not fucking likely brat, its lunchtime and I haven’t seen you eat anything all day. Also I thought I’d come check on you to make sure your brain hadn’t dribbled out your ears…how are you feeling?” Sanji couldn’t help but smile at the fatherly concern and decided to be honest this time.

 

“I still have a headache and I feel a little queasy but it’s nothing serious. I probably just need a good night’s sleep, I’ll feel better in the morning.” Sanji gave him a reassuring smile hoping Zeff didn’t deem him sick enough to kick out on his ass. He knew they were shorthanded and the old man would stay up all night to finish the office work and be a bastard for it in the morning. “Alright brat but if you start to feel worse you go upstairs and get some rest. Try to eat something, I don’t need you keeling over here and making more paperwork for me you shitty kid. I’ll come back for any leftovers so don’t force it down for the sake of not making waste” Zeff scolded before turning and heading back out to the kitchen.

 

Sanji watched him leave fondly as he pulled the tray in front of him and found a bowl of stew and a roll still warm from the oven. He smiled knowing this dish in particular wasn’t on the menu and Zeff had made it just for him. He hadn’t eaten anything since he’d left home that morning and wasn’t discounting the possibility that he was feeling sick now from low blood sugar. It had been hours since his last fit and he was fairly confident that it was out of his system for good. He decided to pace himself and eat slowly just in case it all came rushing back but he was soon lost in the numbers in front of him and before he knew it his dish was empty. “Shit I guess I was just hungry” he murmured setting aside the tray to bring out later. He stretched his arms over his head with a yawn and scratched at an itch on his side before setting the last of his papers in order. He was feeling a little agitated and thought it might be time for a smoke. Something was unsettling him he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

 

He felt warm, too warm. Why the fuck was it so hot in the office? He turned aggressively towards the thermostat cursing the shitty old man’s tendency to crank the heat in every fucking room he occupied but found himself staring down at the carpet between his knees when the quick movement almost caused him to pass out. He felt his lunch trying to crawl up his throat and leaned back in his chair covering his face with both hands trying to pull himself together.

 

“No…no no no no… I’m not doing this again. Fuck…” he groaned before sucking in a breath and letting it out slowly. He needed to lie down. His first instinct was to just slide to the floor and curl up under the desk, but Zeff was likely to call a fucking ambulance if he found him sprawled out on the ground. He didn’t trust himself to stand and had left his vanity up in Zeff’s bathroom hours ago so he felt no shame when he slipped to the floor and crawled the few feet to the old brown leather couch that sat against the far wall. It creaked in protest as he drug himself onto it but he had no fucks to give. The cool leather felt amazing against his skin and for the first time all day he wondered if he had a fever. He laid there for what felt like hours listening to his own controlled breathing and the hum of the florescent light. Fuck that light. If he wasn’t moments from spilling his guts he might attempt to get to the switch by the door but for now his left arm thrown across his eyes was doing a bang up job of keeping him in the dark. He knew he needed help. Zeff’s waste basket was mesh and there was 10 feet of carpet between him and the door. If he was going to hurl the best case scenario was he made it to the door and the tile hallway outside of it. He knew realistically there was no way he’d make it to the bathroom in his condition. He could call for help but he was afraid to open his mouth. His next thought made him want to laugh and cry all at the same time.

 

He wanted Zeff.

 

The thought of facing the man as a shivering mess was a little hard on his ego but he couldn’t help but be overcome by an unnatural desire to have his father nearby. That was fucked up. He was fucked up, but it wasn’t more than a few minutes later when he heard that comforting gait coming down the hall. He decided then and there he wasn’t going to try to downplay this and let himself look as awful as he felt. So when Zeff walked in the room and caught sight of his son laying on the sofa white as a sheet and shaking slightly he was at his side and cursing in an instant. The older man roughly pushed Sanji’s bangs from his eyes feeling his forehead in the process.

 

“You damn brat you’ve got a fever! Are you trying to sabotage this place?! What the hell do you expect me to do if this starts running through the staff?!” Sanji had a snarky reply on his tongue and would have used it too if his lunch hadn’t decided to cut the line. He propped himself up on one elbow while his other clamped over his mouth. He was going to puke.

 

“Dammit Sanji- PATTY! BRING ME A BUCKET, THE FIRST THING YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON! Zeff roared rushing to the door. There was a clatter from the kitchen and some confused cursing before patty appeared outside the office and hesitantly handed over the bucket and mop. Zeff snatched the bucket and threw the mop at the cook with a snarl before hurrying as best he could back to his son. He made it in time to save his shitty carpet holding the bucket in place just as the hand Sanji had over his mouth failed him and his lunch began to dribble out from between his fingers. 

 

Get a kid they said. It’ll be fun they said.

 

He patted Sanji’s thigh encouraging him to put his feet on the floor so he could sit up properly. He hadn’t raised him this long just to have him choke to death on his own vomit. He sat down next to the sick blonde and wrapped his free hand around his opposite shoulder pulling him upright with a soft “up up up…there we go now”. While Sanji wretched Zeff made eye contact with Patty who stood in the doorway looking torn between escaping the awkward situation and pulling up a chair to see what would happen next. “Well don’t just stand around, get me a wet cloth and a towel from upstairs” he ordered gruffly. It was enough to snap the man from his slack jawed staring and he nodded before leaving the room to do as he was told. Zeff watched the man go and as soon as he was confident that they were alone he turned his attention fully to his boy. 

 

He was entirely out of his element here.

 

Sanji had come to him at the age of nine. He had missed the years where children needed help with nearly everything. He had never been woken in the middle of the night to a crying child who had been sick in his sleep. He hadn’t been required for comfort the only time he could remember Sanji throwing up as a kid. He had found the boy asleep in front of the toilet the next morning in a bed made from the couch cushions and his blankets. He informed him that he had thrown up twice but was hungry and wanted breakfast. He had called him out of school before forcefully taking his temperature and letting him rest. He wasn’t convinced his actions were entirely paternal, maybe they had been influenced by years of preparing perfect cuts of meat. Check the internal temperature, let it rest…

 

A rough echoing cough pulled him from his reminiscing and was followed by a painful sounding wretch, but nothing else. The distinct sound of liquid hitting liquid was missing. Zeff lowered the bucket enough to see Sanji’s face, and aside from a string of bile and probably saliva hanging from his still parted lips there was nothing. Another bout of gagging and still nothing. Dry heaves then. Feeling confident that it was over he stilled the hand that had been unconsciously rubbing circles against the back of Sanji’s damp shirt and tilted the bucket towards himself to examine the contents. He sloshed it back and forth surprised at how much it still resembled the stew he had brought down. A quiet knock on the door frame drew his attention to Patty standing warily in the hallway.

 

“Zeff? I uh…here.” Patty shuffled into the room and handed the towels over, looking anywhere but at the usually polished asshole who ordered his ass around. Zeff offered a rough thanks before thrusting the nasty pail into the beefy man’s hands. “Take care of that, and bring it back when you’re done.” He could tell the man wanted to protest, after all, it wasn’t his job to empty puke buckets but the awkwardness of the situation had him backing out of the room without a word. With a sigh Zeff unfolded the damp cloth before roughly scrubbing at Sanji’s neck and finally moving on to wipe his face clean.

 

“I don’t need your help with this old man…I’m an adult…” Sanji argued weakly. Zeff snorted as he grabbed the hand Sanji had held his lunch back with. He wiped it down before folding up the soiled face towel and tossing it on the floor to deal with later. “Of course you don’t need help, you’re all grown up now and don’t need me at all do you little eggplant?” He teased while Sanji cursed creatively in an effort to emphasise his all grown up status. He watched his son try to compose himself taking note of how exhausted and unwell he looked. Zeff wondered how much of his current state was due to a simple stomach bug and how much could be attributed to his personal problems. 

 

“I’m not sure what’s happened between you and that boyfriend, but I can make up your bed for you, and you can stay here if you’d like.”

 

Sanji let out a breath and turned slightly to look up at his father. He saw concern in his eyes and figured he may as well tell him what happened. It’s not like he could really humiliate himself further today. “We had a fight last week. I found out his old boyfriend got a job at the dojo and they’ve been spending time together at work and I just- I got so pissed off. He said he didn’t tell me because he didn’t think it was important, but of course it’s important! It’s been weeks since Saga got the job and Zoro never mentioned it once. I only found out because the idiot forgot his lunch and it was my day off so I brought it down and found them eating shitty takeout in the breakroom together. He got upset because I didn’t trust him, grabbed some shit and said he was going to Usopp and Luffy’s. He came by a few days ago and took all his clothes and left his key behind. He hasn’t called at all.

 

“What about you? Have you called him?” Zeff asked with a frown.

 

Sanji clamped his jaw shut and growled. “I called once and someone else answered his phone. They said he couldn’t talk.” He covered his face with his hands. He was wrong. He could humiliate himself further today because his fucking eyes were stinging and he was going to fucking cry.

 

Zeff rubbed his shoulder in an uncharacteristically open show of affection. “Let’s get you up to bed eggplant, things will look better after you’ve gotten some proper rest.” Sanji shook his head before clearing his throat softly. “No, I can’t stay. If I have a fever this is probably contagious so I should probably go home and get the hell out of your hair. I’ll be fine.” He struggled to sit but a firm hand on his chest kept him in place. 

 

“You can’t even sit up right now-“

“That’s because you’re holding me down!”

“Are you admitting that an old man is able to pin you with one arm?”

“No I’m just afraid if I struggle too hard I’ll break it!”

“Would you like to try?”

“…”

“Oh fuck off! I’ll be fine once I’m up-“

“And then what eggplant? Do you plan on staggering home?”

“I’ll drive-“

“The hell you will!”

“I can handle myself you old bastard!” 

“Can you now? Alright, Well let’s get you standing then!” Zeff stood and hauled Sanji to his feet roughly. He swayed precariously, grabbing onto Zeff’s shoulder for stability before sinking back to the couch with a breathy “Oh holy shit…”

“Well?”

“…”

“Alright I can’t drive.”

“You don’t say….” Zeff watched Sanji curl back up miserably on the couch shivering slightly. He sighed before limping towards his desk and pulling an old knitted blanket from the bottom drawer. He felt a little bad about causing him more misery but the kid had never responded to anything but the hard way. What’s that you say? It’s hot? Let me double check that for myself. That’ll sting if I get it in my eyes? We’ll see about that…

 

“Make sure you shake that o-”

“-I’m shaking it for fucks sake!” Zeff snapped back as he grabbed the blanket by a corner and shook it violently while muttering under his breath “you find one spider in a blanket one fucking time…” 

 

Spider free, he laid the blanket over his son being sure to tuck it in behind him to keep it from winding up on the floor. “Where’s your phone brat?” Sanji lifted his head tiredly and pointed towards the desk. He hobbled over and picked up the stupid brick bringing it back and dropping it beside Sanji’s head. “Pull up your contacts boy.” When Sanji offered him a quizzical look he elaborated “I’m calling one of your idiot friends to take you home.” Sanji rolled onto his back squinting at the bright screen. He clicked the icon pulling up his friends’ information and handed the phone back to his father. He trusted him to know which ones he was close to and which were just acquaintances. 

 

“Luffy doesn’t drive-“

“Well thank fuck for that.”

“I wasn’t finished old man, don’t bother the ladies if you don’t have to.”

“I wasn’t planning on it brat-”

“Or him.”

 

Zeff met Sanji’s stern glare before readjusting his blanket and tapping the screen of the phone he held in his hand to keep everything from disappearing. “Rest, I’ll send someone with something to settle your stomach and I’ll let you know when I’ve found some poor fool to drive your sorry ass home.” When he got no response he flicked off the light and stepped out into the hall shutting the door silently. He rounded the corner into the kitchen and all action immediately came to a halt, every eye in the room looking for an update. 

 

“Carne, Sanji’s ill, make up some ginger tea and bring it in to the office. I’ve got something that needs my attention.” With that he turned on his heel and pushed his way through the back door hearing the kitchen spring back to life a moment after the door had slammed behind him. He sat gingerly on the top step, disregarding how the simple task made his joints ache not to mention the cold seeping in through the seat of his pants. He tried not to dwell on the fact that the lunch rush was starting and he was down his best chef while his right hand man was occupied making tea. His own absence only made the situation worse, but it couldn’t be helped.

 

He had a phone call to make.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I feel like it's been a really long time since I poked at this but let me explain! I thought I had chapter three written but there was a spot at the beginning that just didn't jive and when I tried to fix it I kind of accidentally wrote an entirely new chapter. Whoops! Let me know what you think. I initially wasn't going to get into what these wieners were up to but I just had to share it with you!
> 
> Let me know what you think! I have chunks of this story written but there's plenty of wiggle room to add bits in so if you're reading through thinking "oh damn this would be amazing' then let me know about it!! 
> 
> And if you are worried I may have wandered off or become dangerously obsessed with harvest moon know that every kudos and every comment is a tiny motivational kick in my ass!

This couch smelled like ass.

 

That was his first thought upon waking. His second thought was that he was most likely part of the problem. Was anyone else home? What day was it? …Was it finally over?

 

*poke*

 

*poke* 

Zoroooooo… are you awake? 

*poke*

 

“Whaaat. What the fuck do you want?” Zoro rolled over with a groan, cracking an eye open to find his best friend hovering over him with a blinding smile. The kid had no concept of personal space. He remedied the issue with a palm to the side of Luffy’s head using enough force to gently topple the menace to the floor. He sat up carefully unsure of what kind of shape he would find himself in but relaxed when the room didn’t immediately being to spin. He opened his eyes slowly … and promptly decided he was going back to sleep because he wasn’t prepared to deal with the horror show that was his friend’s living room .It was a fucking disaster. And not just the usual take out cartons and socks that Luffy tended to decorate his apartment with. Those, of course, were all still present but added to the mix was possibly every bowl and mug that Luffy owned all still full of soup, tea…or what was once soup and tea that didn’t sit quite right. There were at least a dozen towels thrown about the floor, most of which looked like they were being used to hide something spilled on the rug. He was just about to follow through on that nap when a mug of something hot and fragrant being thrust into his face surprised him.

 

“Don’t worry, I washed it myself.” 

 

He looked up to see Usopp sitting on the arm of the couch, looking about as haggard as he sounded. He muttered his thanks before tentatively taking a sip. It was a mint green tea not quite as strong as he liked and with a decent amount of sugar mixed in. He knew Usopp was aware that he never put sugar in anything so it was safe to assume it had been added for some purpose. The art student cleared his throat roughly before confirming Zoro’s suspicions. “I know you don’t like sugar but considering we’re both near death I thought it might help with, you know, the whole staying alive thing.” The green haired man snorted before taking another swallow. “S’ok Usopp, it’s not so terrible. I’ve definitely done worse myself.”

 

“Hey you guys should eat some stuff cuz you haven’t barfed in soooo long! And you should’ve come to my party yesterday! We ate so much yummy food but you were a butt and wouldn’t wake up Usopp and Zoro said no and barfed when I asked so I guess it’s okay that Zoro didn’t go but Usopp you should have come!”

 

Both men on the couch stared deadpan at their smaller friend sprawled out on the questionable floor bursting with excitement when only a few days ago he had been in worse shape than anyone. Zoro sighed before relaxing back into the couch with his mug balanced on his thigh. This had been a long fucking… well he actually wasn’t sure how long it had been but fuck, he was glad it was over. He wanted to get back home to-

 

“Fuck! Sanji!” Zoro sat up abruptly remembering just why he wasn’t at home to begin with, unfortunately he had forgotten the mug balanced in his lap.

 

“FUCK! SHIT!” He jumped off the couch with a hiss as the still very hot tea soaked into his sweats and the mug dropped to the carpet with a thunk. 

 

Usopp groaned muttering about how it wasn’t the worst thing Zoro had done to their couch and Luffy rolled around on the floor in hysterics. Zoro was trying to keep his cool but standing in the middle of this nasty room with what felt like real burns to his junk and unsure of what fucking time or even what day it was he was starting to feel a little overwhelmed. He wanted a bath and his bed and he fucking wanted Sanji there to make his tea right, and hell Sanji just made everything right, but they were fighting weren’t they? He groaned running his fingers through his hair, cringing when it didn’t fall back against his scalp, just seeming to stand on its own. Fucking gross. He caught Usopp staring at him with sympathy in his dark eyes and felt a little better. Luffy may have already forgotten what it felt like to come out of this thing alive, but Usopp was right there with him. He had succumbed to this shit barely ten hours after Usopp had, and before that they had both spent the better part of two days trying to keep Luffy alive and off the carpets. They were brothers now. 

 

“It’s Monday afternoon if you’re curious” Usopp offered quietly.

 

All he could do was gape at his friend. It was Monday. It was fucking Monday. They had fought on a Sunday and it sure as hell wasn’t yesterday. He hadn’t contacted Sanji in over a week. This wasn’t their first fight by any means. It wasn’t even the first time one of them had left to cool off, but never had they gone this long without resolving things. He was starting to feel sick and it wasn’t from a stomach bug. Zoro sat back down on the couch, grimacing when the ass of his sweats started to rapidly absorb the tea that had missed scorching his genitals. He stood awkwardly before leaning over the coffee table, which was covered in assorted disgusting treasures, searching for his phone. “Shit, Dammit! I need to call Sanji!” He found the device unharmed and miraculously pugged in and fully charged. He scrambled to unlock it but froze when he was met with a half dozen notifications for missed alarms. The ones he had set to wake up for his job. The one he was supposed to be at right now.

 

“Fuck! I’m supposed to be at work!” Zoro hissed. 

 

“Nope I called your work Zoro!” Luffy yelled from the floor before rolling to his knees and draping himself over the arm of the couch. Zoro blinked stupidly at his friend trying to process the fact that Luffy had done something responsible. “…You called in for me?”

 

“Yup! I told them you were sick and that you even pooped yourself” He stopped to laugh merrily “Usopp remember when he pooped himself? That was so funny!” 

 

Zoro could only stare slack jawed while Luffy cackled and Usopp sipped on his tea looking hard at a spot on the wall. “You did not tell my coworkers… people I see almost every fucking day that I shit myself.”

 

Luffy looked up at him with those big innocent brown eyes and then his face broke into the most blinding shit eating grin he had ever seen. “Well you did! But don’t worry Zoro! I told them it was a secret sickness and that if anyone asked where you were to tell them that you went for lunch or got lost or something, wait, why was it a secret again Usopp?”

 

The man sighed while balancing his mug on his thigh. “We didn’t want Chopper over here fussing. He’s busy with finals and we didn’t want to distract him. If Nami had found out she would have been charging by the hour to take care of us. Sanji would have been over here trying to feed us when he already has a thousand things to do and Brook and Franky would have turned the whole thing into a musical…And we already felt like we were dying, we didn’t need Robin over here making us believe it. Besides Luffy. Wouldn’t you feel bad if all of our friends got sick because they were trying to help us?”

 

“Hmmm…Yeah that would be bad, but Sanji would have fed us…” Luffy trailed off clearly caught in a moral dilemma. 

 

Zoro was about to excuse himself when his phone started to vibrate in his hand. His heart stuttered in his chest when he saw the familiar caller id flash across the screen but his finger froze over the accept button when he tried to answer. What the fuck was he supposed to say? He looked up and locked eyes with Usopp who offered him a sympathetic smile and gestured for him to answer the call. How did you say ‘I’m sorry I’ve been a dick but you’re still a fucking asshole and I’m angry as fuck but I miss you so damn much please can we go home and take a really long nap together?” He tapped the button and put the phone to his ear before taking a deep breath and opening and closing his mouth like a fool floundering for something to say. He settled on a stupid sounding “Uh Hullo?”

 

“Hmm…well you aren’t dead so you’d better have a damn good reason for falling off the planet boy.”

 

“Whaa…”

 

“So what is it? Coma? Kidnapped by the mob?”

 

“I uh… Zeff?”

 

“You always were a quick one. So what’s your excuse son? Go on a bender? Find someone pretty to keep you busy all week? Because if I find out you’ve gone and done something to break his heart I swear to god I’ll-”

 

“-I shit myself!” The words were out before he could do anything to stop them and never in his life had he felt regret like this. The sound of Luffy crashing to the floor with a whoop of laughter only intensified his shame. “No wait! I mean I’m sick!”

 

“You’re sick? You sound fine to me-.”

 

“No I was sick but I’m okay now. I swear I was just about to call him so we could talk-”

 

“Well you’re talking to me now boy and I suggest you shut the hell up and listen. I’m a busy man and I sure as hell don’t want to spend what little free time I have playing referee for you two shitheads-”

 

“”Well then just let me talk to him so we can-”

 

“I don’t like to repeat myself Zoro.”

 

“…Yes sir.”

 

“As I was saying I don’t appreciate spending my free time sorting out your problems, but I also don’t appreciate seeing my son upset. Now you and I are going to have some words and if you want to have even a snowballs chance in hell of gaining some sympathy from me, I suggest you haul your sorry ass down here.”

 

“I uh, like to the Baratie?… yeah I can do that. Is he…is he down there now?”

 

“He’s busy in the office.”

 

“Alright. I’ll uh… need a shower, and then I’ll head over.”

 

“I’ll tell the hostess to be expecting you around 2 o’clock.”

 

“I won’t be that long-”

 

“Ha, we’ll see about that kid.”

 

“…Yes sir.”

 

He pulled the phone from his ear after he heard the call disconnect, taking a moment to look fondly at the contact picture. He fiddled with the device while he gathered the scraps of his pride having just humiliated himself and then been thoroughly scolded in front of his friends. 

 

“So I have to head out. I’ll come by when I’m done to help you guys… uh, shit. Rebuild I guess. This place is fucking gross.” 

 

“I made sure to keep track of who made what mess! The towels with pencils on them are messes that Usopp made and the towels with receipts on them are Zoro’s messes! And the ones with cheese string wrappers on top are messes I made!” Usopp made a noise that sounded like the rest of the fight leaving his body before standing sluggishly and heading towards the kitchen. Zoro stood with a yawn before heading towards the bathroom. He stepped inside before promptly turning around and walking out. What. The. Fuck. Luffy had clearly run out of towels because the bathroom was a mosaic of textures and colors he wasn’t aware the human body was capable of producing. And scattered around the room were a handful of pencils with receipts stuck in odd places. Usopp came to stand beside him offering a mirthless chuckle. 

 

“If you try to shower in there you’re gonna come out worse than when you went in man.” A roll of paper towels and a bottle of cleaner were thrust into his arms. “I’m gonna start on the floor and you can start…with the walls maybe. We’ll tackle it from both ends.” Usopp offered tiredly. Zoro could only grunt in response, still thoroughly stunned that they had survived without medical intervention.

 

“Oh and Zoro?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Luffy used every towel in the house and that’s the last roll of paper towel we have so go easy on em if you plan on showering…unless you want to air dry.”

 

Zoro held up the thin roll of bargain paper towel and then looked over the hell splattered across every surface of the bathroom. “Well fuck.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got another update for you yaaaayyy :)
> 
> I've noticed a lot of you guys are leaving Kudos on sick strawhats which I've been working on for the last 50 years with my bestie strawhatsanddelibirds! Well I feel obligated to inform you all that the fact that it hasn't been updated in 30 years is ENTIRELY MY FAULT. We finished the outlines for all 60 million chapter AGES AGO and it was left in my hands so she could focus on all the other crap she left half finished! 
> 
> I have all of it. The whole damn thing. All i need to do. Is edit and fluff it up. It has not been abandoned and never will because its 75% complete :)
> 
> In case anyone was concerned! 
> 
>  
> 
> ______________________________

Sanji fought desperately to stay asleep but knew it was a losing battle. Even after he was fully conscious he kept his eyes closed and breathing steady hoping if he kept it up he could trick his body into drifting off again. Then he registered the warm hand on his shoulder.

 

“Hey kid, you awake?” Sanji took a deep breath and rolled onto his side to get a better look at the man he was about to maim. He cleared his throat, grimacing as he involuntarily swallowed the mucous it had dislodged. “Carne, I’m about to fucking kill you, what the hell do you want?” His irritation only intensified when he heard the man chuckle.

 

“I brought you some ginger tea and dry toast. Boss said you’re hurlin’ but this should help get you on the mend faster… and if it doesn’t I brought your puke pail back.” Sanji rolled his eyes but sat up cautiously. His stomach was still queasy and his headache was going strong but he knew if he could keep the tea down he would feel a little better now, and if he could keep the food down he would feel better for it later.

 

“Do you want the light on?”

 

“Fuck no, so help me Carne if you turn that light on I’ll find a way to hurt you” Sanji rasped as threateningly as he could sitting half dressed in the dark next to a puke bucket.

 

“Alright keep your panties on! Here’s your shit, do you want me to stay just in case I need to hold your pretty hair back for you?”

 

Sanji offered the man a middle finger while he sipped delicately from his mug. Carne chuckled but took a seat on the edge of the couch anyways. The blond leaned farther back into the cushions, eyes remaining closed to keep the room from spinning. He tried to relax and enjoy his tea but found it difficult with how achy he felt. Not to mention the gruff man staring him down who was very much in his personal bubble. He was about to tell him to fuck off but was cut short when the man started to speak. 

 

“You really are sick this time aren’t you kid.”

 

Sanji paused with the mug halfway to his lips, his muddled brain working desperately to make sense of the odd statement. Carne seemed oblivious to his confusion and carried on reminiscing. “Last time we just had to worry about you scratching your skin off of sneaking down to the kitchens, but other than that it was business as usual. Well maybe not, you definitely were more of a shit without Zeff around to keep you in line-”

 

“Carne what the fuck are you going on about?” Sanji finally blurted out. The older man rolled his eyes before picking up the toast, folding it in half and shoving it into his charges stupid mouth. “What do you mean what am I talking about? The week you and Zeff had chicken pox- what the fuck else would I be talking about? Sanji chewed on the piece of toast slowly, so involved with trying to get his brain to resume functioning that he completely ignored the fact that he had just been roughly hand fed. He chewed furiously thinking hard. “I remember having chicken pox, I was sick for like, one night and then I was just itchy and pissed off. You and Patti had to watch me because Zeff was away, but Zeff never had chicken pox” Sanji offered around the mouthful of bread. Carne could see the wheels turning painfully slow and watched them grind to a halt along with the young chefs chewing as his body slowly caught up with the surprise meal he had been fed. He swallowed thickly looking increasingly uncomfortable.

 

Carne stood taking the dishes from Sanji, who was getting progressively greener. He plucked up the slice of ginger he had set on the edge of the plate and offered it to the blonde who slowly shook his head with a shaky exhale. “C’mon Sanj, you know it’ll help…and it isn’t the worst thing you’ve put in your mouth…” Carne prodded with a snarky grin. Sanji turned to face him slowly and offered the most withering glare he could muster while trying not to hurl, which was clearly not effective as the large man promptly burst out laughing. “Alright but seriously kid, watching you try to hold down that toast is hilarious and all but there’s no way in hell I’m gonna let you waste it so shove this in your face and lay the fuck down.”

 

Sanji eyed him up warily before snatching the ginger and tossing it in his mouth. He promptly started to gag. Carne rolled his eyes before gently shoving him in the shoulder encouraging him to lay down on his side. He sat down on the edge of the couch and started rubbing the young chef’s arm roughly in an attempt to distract him as well as offer his own unique brand of comfort. “You’re such a pain in the ass kid…” Carne groused, rolling his eyes when Sanji responded with a dramatic moan and some shaky muffled cursing. The next few minutes were quiet. Sanji doing everything in his power to keep from being ill and Carne getting lost in the monotonous action of running his large calloused hand along the soft sleeve of Sanji’s dress shirt. 

 

“…So he caught it too?” Carnes brow furrowed in confusion at the unexpected voice before he remembered what they had been talking about.

 

“Yeah, Zeff was away because he picked up your gross kid germs and was so sick we took him to the hospital.” It took five seconds for the guilt to begin creeping into Sanji’s features and the older man immediately felt like a dick. With all his rough talk and posturing it was easy to forget how sensitive the young man was. He occasionally had to remind himself that this was the same kid that cried over the birds who would occasionally fly into the windows of the restaurant and even as a grown man he had caught him once or twice standing misty eyed over one of their prone little bodies.

 

“Oh for the love of- would you quit making that face? It was hardly your fault the old man never bothered to properly get himself vaccinated for all the shit you were bound to bring home. He purposely made you interact with some other brat that had the fucking virus so you’d get it young. We ragged on him all the way to the hospital for being dumb enough to infect you with it when he’d never had it himself.”

 

“Yeah I guess that was kinda dumb…”

 

Don’t worry about it kiddo, it was practically a vacation for the old bastard. He got to lay around for nearly a week being tended to by beautiful nurses and didn’t have to deal with your crazy ass. That week we spent with you is why neither of us ever had kids. Carne bristled at the muffled snort that came from the blond. 

 

“Are you sure it wasn’t because neither of you ugly bastards could ever manage to even land a date? It couldn’t have been that bad I was just a little kid.” 

 

“You were a little shit is what you were! We tried damn near everything to keep you from scratching. We taped oven mitts to your hands and you just rubbed yourself all over the carpet. We tried sitting on your legs and you just bit at your arms like a damn animal, and when we pinned your arms and legs you screamed. We had you for five straight days and spent four of them scratching everywhere you pointed in between your damn bumps so you wouldn’t end up a mess. 

 

“Why didn’t you just gag me? It sounds like you did everything but.” 

 

“We still had to fucking live with you after the fact!”

 

“How’s that working out for you?”

 

“You’re still a god damn delight!”

 

When Sanji flipped him the bird with the hand that wasn’t pillowed under his head Carne finally threw his hands in the air and stood to retrieve the empty dishes. “I’ll go let your old man know you didn’t choke on your tea and I’ll leave your barf bucket, do you need anything else?” He sighed when the blond pointed weakly at the blanket discarded on the floor, definitely within Sanji’s reach, but moved to retrieve it anyways before tossing it over the man haphazardly. He had his hand on the doorknob when a sleepy voice halted him.

 

“Thanks Carne.”

 

He definitely ignored the stupid fuzzy feeling that was beginning to fester in his chest slipping out into the hall with a grumpy “Get some sleep you brat.” He straightened his chefs whites before making his way down the hall to the bustling kitchen but stopped when Zeff rounded the corner distracted with trying to turn off the cell phone he held in his hand. The chef noticed his presence and dropped the phone into a pocket before he hobbled towards his old friend.

 

“How is he? And why do you look so flustered?” Zeff asked while looking him over critically.

 

“I’m not flustered! And he’s held down his tea and a little food and is resting now” Carne grumbled.

 

Zeff continued to stare at him critically before seeming to let it go. “Alright well-” Zeff stopped mid-sentence before gesturing for Carne to follow him towards the kitchen where the noise would mask their conversation. 

 

“He’s had a fight with the grass head-”

 

“I knew it! Patti owes me ten bucks-”

 

“Would you shut your damn mouth? I’ve called him and he’s on his way down so we can have a chat. Sanji didn’t want me to contact him but he’ll need help until he’s well and the obvious choice is the man he lives with wouldn’t you agree?”

 

“Pfft I’m not agreeing with shit. You’re going down with that ship on your own.” Zeff rolled his eyes. “I don’t need your blessing asshole, I need you to keep an eye out for that wandering moron in case he somehow ends up back here instead of in the dining room. I need to make sure I don’t have to kick the shit out of him before I send him back to make nice with our dumbass.”

 

Carne gave a curt nod. “You got it boss. If you end up kicking the piss out of him let me know, I’ll give him a few cracks myself.” Zeff smirked and clapped his friend on the shoulder. “I have to go speak with Keimi about our guest, try to keep the noise down back here. The longer he sleeps the less painful this will be for all of us.”

 

The two men moved into the kitchen together before Zeff broke off and made his way towards the dining room. He really hoped Sanji would get some decent re-”

 

“ALRIGHT YOU BASTARDS! FANCY PANTS IS TAKING A NAP SO KEEP IT DOWN!”

 

Zeff sighed before pushing through the doors into the busy dining room reminding himself to handle one fool at a time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classes have started! Which means I will do absolutely anything to avoid studying/homework. 
> 
> So here's another chapter!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _______________________________

He was doing his best to look scary. He didn’t want this dumbass to think he could hurt his boy and get away with it, but he was finding it increasingly difficult not to look concerned. 

 

The man looked like shit.

 

His normally bronze skin was pale and he appeared as if he hadn’t slept in days. He wore the same ratty jeans and white t-shirt he had heard Sanji complain about a dozen times, but they didn’t seem to be fitting him properly, they were much too loose. He looked like he had lost at least ten pounds and something about his whole presence felt subdued. You could usually sense this man when he walked into the room, he turned heads wherever he went, and today… well no one seemed to notice he was there, the guy even had to maneuver around a patron who nearly bumped into him. How did you miss a man with green hair? Zoro approached the table and offered him a curt nod before sliding in on the other side of the booth. A waitress immediately set down two glasses of water and turned to leave already knowing the situation. Zeff stopped her with a touch to her wrist. “My dear bring this fool a meal from the kitchen. Something high protein, maybe a steak.” She blinked at him before uttering a soft ‘yes chef’ and disappearing to complete her task. Zeff turned back to his company and noted the look of surprise on his face.

 

“Well? Get talking boy, I have better things to do than play referee for you two shitheads.” Zoro sighed resting his elbows on the table and running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know where to start. What did he tell you?”

 

“Said he found out you were spending time with an ex and when he got upset you stormed out of the house. He called a few days later and someone else answered your phone and said you couldn’t talk, then you came back a few days after that for the rest of your clothes and left your house key on the counter...” Zeff took a sip of his water and waited for what the green haired man would say next. He was surprised when instead of looking nervous the man just looked irritated.

 

“It was on the counter at home? What the fuck! I tore the place apart looking for- dammit Luffy…” Zeff frowned unsure of what to do with that new information. “I’m not sure if that’s the part you should be concerned about son, now get on with it before I lose my temper.”

 

Zoro sighed before giving Zeff an exhausted smile. “Alright old timer, I’ll tell you what I can, but some of it’s a little fuzzy.” Before he could complain about a lack of respect the young man dove into his story.

 

“We did fight about that but it’s not like I was going out of my way to ‘spend time with an ex’. He got a job at my dojo! He was a co-worker and the bastard made it out like I was sneaking off with him so we could fondle each other’s-”

“Ahem!” Zeff cleared his throat loudly. “You’d be wise to remember where you are boy and who you’re speaking to.”

Zoro had the decency to look sheepish before taking a breath and continuing on. “I honestly didn’t see why he was so upset, I wasn’t hiding anything it just wasn’t…important I guess? To me at least. Saga doesn’t mean anything to me now. When he got a job at the dojo I was surprised but we were together such a long time ago and I've been with Sanji for two years now. I don’t know how to explain it. All I know is that when he got upset it felt like he was accusing me of being unfaithful, like he didn’t trust me, and that pissed me off. I left that night because we were both getting upset and I didn’t want one of us to say something we would regret. I was going to give us a couple days to cool off so I crashed at Luffy’s and Usopp’s. But then…" Zeff watched as the kendo instructor paled another shade before wincing and giving his head a shake. “Everything went to hell.” 

 

Zeff decided to go out on a limb. “You’ve been ill recently haven’t you? Stomach bug?” He watched the man wince at his words before looking a little self-conscious. “Do I look that bad?”

 

Just then the waitress returned with a steaming plate of food and set it down in front of the green haired man. He looked at it longingly before getting ready to jump back into his story.

 

“Stop. Eat first. Looks like you haven’t had a good meal in a week.” Zoro offered a thankful smile before picking up his fork and immediately stuffing his face with some fluffy mashed potatoes. He groaned in a way that turned a few heads. “It has been exactly a week since I had a good fucking meal.”

 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full dumbass.” Zeff growled. He sat back and watched as the free food was devoured with appalling speed, only thankful that Sanji wasn’t around to witness such an inexcusable lack of manners.

 

Zoro pushed the empty dish away with a happy groan. “Thanks old man, I needed that.”

 

“You’re very welcome but I’m getting even older over here sprout.”

 

“Okay, don’t get your moustache in a twist…” Zoro polished off his water setting the empty glass at the edge of the table before sighing contently.

 

“Like I said, it all went to hell. Everything was alright to start. Usopp was around so we drank some beers and played a few rounds of some new game he’s obsessed with. He pestered me until I told him what happened. He was on Sanji’s side by the way… he helped me understand why he was so upset and…I could see how I might owe him an apology, not that he doesn’t owe me one too, but I understand why he went off on me. We fought Sunday evening so I figured I’d give him Monday to cool off and we’d talk about everything on Tuesday night after he got home from work, but then…fuck. Luffy started puking Monday night and by Tuesday afternoon Usopp was sick too. Talking to Sanji was kind of the last thing on my mind honestly. I know it sounds terrible, but fuck, you weren’t there Zeff.” I won’t get into details but by Wednesday night I was sleeping on the bathroom floor. Todays the first day I’ve felt alright.”

 

The waitress stopped to refill their glasses and clear the plates and both men stopped to give her their thanks.

 

“You could have called. He was upset and you left him for an entire week without any inkling of where you were-”

 

“If I had called him up and said ‘Hey Sanji! Luffy is really sick, Usopp is really sick, I’m really sick,’ what would have happened?”

“He would have come right over-”

“Exactly!” Zoro exclaimed throwing his hands up. “I didn’t want him picking up whatever the hell it was we had.”

 

Zeff twirled his moustache clearly mulling over the new information. “So you didn’t call because you didn’t want him being exposed to your illness.”

 

Zoro visibly relaxed knowing he was finally getting somewhere. “Yeah, it was awful, and Sanji can hardly make it through one of his stupid cooking shows without getting up to do something, I couldn’t even imagine him laid up in bed… not to mention you’d be out your best man for the better part of a week.”

 

Zeff snorted, holding back a snide comment of Sanji being out of his kitchen amounting to a vacation for everyone. “I’m grateful that you tried to keep him out of harm’s way my boy, but it doesn’t explain why you packed up all your shit and left your key.”

 

“That was Friday and it wasn’t me… I was a fucking mess and I needed some fresh clothes. Luffy was feeling better and offered to go pick up some shit for me to wear so I gave him my key, I don’t know why, the shit managed to get a copy as soon as we moved in to the new place so he wouldn’t miss out on any ‘secret dinners’.”

 

“Secret dinners?”

 

“That means any fucking dinner. Anyways, he came back with everything I fucking own in a garbage bag because he couldn’t decide ‘what would make me feel the best’. I didn’t realize my key was gone until this morning. The idiot must have left it behind and locked the door with his own.”

 

Zeff mulled everything over and looked Zoro up and down. He was a damn good judge of character and the young man had always struck him as an exceptionally trustworthy person. He was relieved to realize he believed every word Zoro had told him and was stunned when he realized he had been smiling warmly at the green haired fool. He hadn’t noticed how much he had come to care for the idiot and was surprised to admit he would miss him terribly if things went wrong between his son and this man. Luckily Zoro seemed to be immersed in something on his phone making it easy for Zeff to put on an irritated face.

 

“You said he called and someone else answered though, I don’t remember that at all” Zoro muttered absently while tapping on his phone until he found what he was looking for. “He called Thursday afternoon, It had to have been Lu or Usopp, and they were right, I wouldn’t have been able to talk” Zoro frowned while pocketing the device. “Where is he? I really want to get things straightened out between us.”

 

Zeff took a drink from his water before setting it down and clearing his throat. 

 

“He’s probably still throwing up in my office.”

 

Zoro blinked at him from across the table not seeming to understand immediately, before the meaning of Zeff’s words seemed to hit him all at once.

 

“Shit! No… When did this start? ”

“You know as well as I do how he keeps his problems to himself. All I know is he had a headache this morning and was throwing up after lunch, I left him sleeping on my couch.” 

 

“Dammit! Is he running a fever? Maybe it’s not the same thing we had and he just ate something bad… Have you gotten a temperature on him? Has he held anything down? Is he drinking?” 

 

“Would you slow the fuck down boy? He’s got a damn fever and brought up his lunch. I don’t know how he fared with what Carne took him afterwards, I do have a restaurant to run you know. Zoro slid out of the booth clumsily before heading towards the kitchen.

 

“Hold it mother hen!” The man stopped throwing Zeff an annoyed glare but waited for the older man to catch up. “Let me speak to him first. He’ll be upset if you just come bursting through the door, he doesn’t know I called you. Zoro ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “Well what the fuck am I supposed to do? Zeff looked him up and down. “Well first of all quit making a scene in my damn dining room!” Zeff snarled. “Go to the kitchen and get those idiots back there to box up enough meals to get you through the next couple days. We don’t need him worrying about you on top of feeling sick.” He nudged the younger man aside intending to head back through the kitchens to his office to get the unpleasantness out of the way. It wouldn’t be shocking if Sanji refused to leave with Zoro, and if that was the case he wasn’t sure how long Zoro would have to wait for another opportunity to make amends. It would be a terrible limbo for the both of them to be caught in. 

 

He stopped when he felt a tug on his sleeve. 

 

“Wait a minute…What are you going to tell him?” Zeff turned around mouth open and ready to tell him it was none of his god damn business and to get the fuck on with what he had been told to do but was caught off guard by the kicked puppy expression on this grown man’s face. It was worse than that. Like a little kid watching ice cream melt on the sidewalk with tears in his eyes. Suddenly every time his son had walked in cursing his partner for doing something stupid, from turning his good shirts pink to getting lost in the supermarket, only to forgive him the instant he stopped by the restaurant to apologize made all the sense in the world. He supressed the disturbing urge to comfort him and put on his best irate face.

 

“I’m going to tell him you’re an idiot, now go do what you were told.” He didn’t wait for a reply before he brushed through the doors to the kitchen. He stopped to grab something from a drawer, and headed down the hallway that led to his office. Zeff opened the door quietly and stepped inside. Sanji looked to be sound asleep so he left the light off and moved towards the couch and sat on the edge. Taking advantage of Sanji’s unconsciousness, Zeff slipped a hand under his son’s bangs to feel his forehead while unfastening all the buttons he could reach on his crumpled and sweaty dress shirt. He tugged the shirt down past his son’s shoulder and fished the device he had snagged in the kitchen out from his pocket. While he was tucking it carefully under his son’s armpit he felt he was being watched and was surprised to find an unfocused blue eye looking up at him curiously.

 

“…What are you doing?”  
“Taking your temperature brat so don’t move.”

 

“Oh…Kay.”

 

“…”

 

“…Is that a meat thermometer?”  
“Yes.”

 

“…Oh.”

 

“….”

 

“…Aren’t those really sharp?”  
“You know they’re really sharp so don’t move.”

 

“… Don’t we have a real thermome-”  
“No.”

 

“…”

“…”

 

“…Why?”

 

Zeff counted backwards from ten slowly in his head until the twitch in his moustache subsided. “Because when you were nine you had the chicken pox and refused to hold still long enough for me to get a proper temperature on you so we did it the old fashioned way and we sure as hell weren’t using it for anything afterwards. No one was ever sick again so it never got replaced.”

 

“…Oh. Shit. I remember that now. I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”

 

“I told you if you didn’t stop fucking around I would didn’t I?”

 

“…Yeah but still. That was intense- Ow.”

“I said don’t move eggplant.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

 

“…Carne said you got sick when I had chicken pox…”   
“Carnes a lying sack of shit.”

 

Zeff pulled the thermometer free and squinted at it before pulling Sanji’s phone from his pocket and using the light from the screen to read it. “103 degrees kid.” It took him a moment to realize he had absolutely no idea what that meant and from the expectant look on Sanji’s face it was clear his son also had no idea if that was a safe people temperature and was waiting for parental input. He didn’t need to know his father was clueless. He’d get one of his staff to look it up for him before Sanji went home but that sounded high. Dammit. He knew how to use the google but not on one of those tiny phones. He was suddenly aware that he was still being watched.

 

“How do you feel brat?”

 

Sanji swallowed with a wince. “Like shit.”

 

He was worried now. He should have called that little smart fellow. The one on his way to being a doctor. Instead he called a man who got lost on the way to the bathroom in his own home. “Are you alright to go home or do you think you need a doctor? I can run you to the hospital if you’re feeling that out of sorts.”

 

“Holy shit Zeff don’t even joke about that.” Sanji muttered while sitting up carefully and pulling a knee to his chest. “I just need some sleep and maybe a few Tylenol, I’ll be fine by tomorrow. Did you get a hold of anyone?”

 

“I did.”

 

“Alright, are they coming soon?”

 

“Already here.”

 

“Shit really? What time is it? How long was I out?

 

“It’s a little after two, he’s getting some meals from the kitchen he can heat up so you won’t feel the need to feed him while you’re recovering.”

 

“…What?” Sanji was looking at him with confusion before his face contorted in anger.”

 

“Zeff. Who’s here?”

 

“Just hear him out eggplant.”

 

“How could you!? I told you what happened! I don’t want to fucking see him, let alone spend twenty minutes in a car with him! And you make it sound like he’s staying! He packed his shit and left me old man-”

 

“That wasn’t him that was the little gluttonous idiot in the hat. They were all sick as dogs all week and they sent that one to pick up a few of Zoro’s things for him. He was the one who left the key on your kitchen counter, probably after he licked everything in your fridge which is why you’re ill. That’s why you haven’t heard from any of them. Give him a chance to explain Sanji.”

 

“No! Call someone else! Anyone else! Fuck call Nami or Robin if you have t-” 

 

A soft knock on the door and a familiar silhouette on the other side froze the words in his throat and his heart in his chest. Zeff patted his arm roughly. “Just talk to him. The idiot found the office all on his own so it’s the least you can do. I’ll leave the two of you alone to sort things out.”

 

Sanji sucked in a breath ready to argue but another soft knock cut him off. Zeff gave his arm a soft squeeze before he stood. “We all make mistakes little eggplant and it’s important that we recognize them. Hear him out…and don’t maim each other. I’ll be just outside the door so no funny business either.” He watched as his father made his way to the door and slipped into the hall. He could hear the two exchanging words with their voices low, and Zoro’s more than concerned, which surprised him. He was running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame it slightly, hoping to preserve the last shred of dignity he had been clinging to, when the door opened quietly and the last person he wanted to deal with slipped into the room.

This was going to be a bitch.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated this since September?!?! Wow I'm an asshole!

Sanji stared down at the tattered blanket in his lap refusing to look up as the door closed softly behind someone. He only averted his gaze to staring resolutely at the back of the couch when a set of ratty black boots appeared in his peripheral.

 

“You’re being ridiculous.” 

 

Sanji’s felt his fever jump a few degrees. “Get out.” he spat shakily.

 

“We need to talk.”

 

“I said get out Zoro!”

 

Irritation flared in Zoro’s chest. He had come in here ready to play nice and here Sanji was acting like a total dick. Zoro reached out to grasp his arm but his hand was batted away weakly. “Don’t fucking touch me asshole.” Zoro made a frustrated noise and grabbed onto the retreating icy fingers and squeezed softly. “God dammit Sanji I’m sorry alright? I’m sorry I didn’t get in touch with you sooner but I swear I had a good reason and I can explain it all to you later alright?”

 

“I don’t want to hear your bullshit excuses Zoro! You fucking left! You packed all your shit and-” Sanji blinked as the room started to spin and his thoughts left him entirely. Someone was speaking to him but he couldn’t understand- didn’t want to understand. He just wanted to hold onto the floaty sensation and he did for a few minutes before the feel of damp leather under his shoulders and warm hands on his face began to filter back in. He groaned, realizing as he returned to full consciousness that the warm feeling on his face was actually someone slapping him. He reached out weakly to protect himself from the onslaught and heard Zoro sigh in relief. “Fuck cook! What the hell was that?”

 

Zoro. That’s right. Zoro was here. He felt a horrible ache in his chest that had nothing to do with the flu. He wanted to yell. He wanted to scream at the man until every hurt feeling he had was acknowledged but he was just so damn tired, and if he was truly honest with himself he didn’t want the man to leave. He opened his eyes to find Zoro staring at him intensely, the hand that had been slapping him now cradled the side of his face gently and this all would have felt really nice if he wasn’t trying to fight the urge to rip the man’s genitals off. He couldn’t quite place the look in Zoro’s eyes. Exhaustion and sadness, with something the romantic side of him would peg as affection but the pissed off boyfriend in him would chalk up to something else.

 

“Can we put this on pause?”

 

Sanji blinked stupidly for a minute, his heart stuttering in his chest when he thought Zoro might be referring to their relationship.

 

“Our fight. I know we have some things to talk about, and we will, but right now I’m going to take you home. You need to be in bed resting.” 

 

Sanji growled, finding it sounded quite satisfying with the shit that had accumulated in his throat. “Why the hell should I go anywhere with an asshole like you?” He knew he shouldn’t be picking a fight, he desperately wanted to be at home where he could suffer in private and Zoro was offering that to him. He was shocked when instead of snarling back Zoro took both his hands and squeezed them gently before bowing his head and placing a soft kiss on his knuckles.

 

“Just let me take care of you now. Please?”

 

Sanji stared at the man kneeling beside him mouth agape. This wasn’t Zoro. Zoro didn’t do romantic and gentle. Zoro didn’t touch him sweetly and say please. Zoro would have tossed him over his shoulder kicking and screaming and locked him in the car. No, the man gazing at him so calmly and holding his hands so carefully was clearly a fever dream.

 

“What’s with that look? If you’re gonna spew let me know so I can move.”

 

Never mind, this was Zoro.

 

Sanji took a breath and leaned his head back to stare at the ceiling. “We’re going to talk about how you just packed up and left?”

 

Zoro snorted. “Cook if I was going to pack up and leave you it would have been the month you were obsessed with that stupid hospital drama where everyone was fucking each other and then dying tragically.”

 

“That show isn’t stupid and I wasn’t obsessed.”

 

“I changed the Netflix password and you made a new account. We pay for two Netflix accounts cook. Sanji couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto his face. He toyed with the tattered fringe of the blanket resting in his lap. Before chancing another look up at Zoro. 

 

“I’m still pissed that you didn’t trust me. And I know you’re pissed about me disappearing for a week on top of what happened.” Zoro gave his hands one last squeeze before letting them go. “But as long as you don’t pick up another god awful show in all this downtime you’re gonna have I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”

 

“What downtime? It’s a stomach bug not the plague marimo, I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”

 

Zoro snorted as he stood. “Yeah okay, we’ll see about that cook. You hang out here and I’ll go make sure your old man hasn’t loaded the whole kitchen into the car.” Sanji watched his partner leave wondering if everything would truly be alright… and did he look slimmer? These were his last thoughts as he drifted off.

 

 

 

After pulling the car around and packing away all the food Zeff insisted he take home, Zoro found himself standing in front of the office. He opened the door silently and treaded softly towards where Sanji was asleep facing the back of the couch. He shook him gently but the action just caused the man to curl into a tighter ball.

 

“Cook.”

 

He got no response aside from a soft snore. He contemplated waiting for him to wake up on his own, but he couldn’t ignore that he himself was in need of a nap. He just wanted to get home. Deciding fuck it he slid his arms under the man lifting him carefully. He moaned softly shifting in his sleep but didn’t seem to wake up. Confident that he could get him out to the car Zoro turned towards the door but only made it two steps before Sanji jerked awake with a snort. He looked around in a daze before seemingly making sense of his situation. “What the fuck Marimo! Put me the hell down before someone comes in and fucking sees! Zoro dropped the man’s legs expecting him to be able to catch himself but was stunned when Sanji crumpled to the floor with a wheeze. 

 

He immediately dropped to his knees. “Fuck! Are you hurt? Shit I didn’t think you’d go down, I-”

 

“I’m fine, just help me up.” He pulled Sanji to his feet and made sure he was well balanced before letting him go. When they started towards the door Zoro pretended not to notice the death grip Sanji had on the back of his shirt or the embarrassed flush that colored his face.


End file.
